Girl Scout Dropout

Archive for May, 2009

I had an interesting conversation with Travis the other night. I tend to get bored fairly easy and like to be entertained. If its a weekend and I have nothing to do, I get a little stir crazy (ie: obnoxious). I tend to sit by him or hover over him and just sigh loudly…repeatedly.

This is only done when I’m not preoccupied with hiding from, ignoring, doing Mom stuff. Which consumes about 95% of my time.

The sad fact is, I have no hobbies.

I used to enjoy reading. I still do. I just never have enough time to sit down and read a whole chapter at a time. I’m the kind of person that likes to sit down to book and read for an hour, or until I’ve finished the book. Whichever comes first.

When I was younger, I used to enjoy all kinds of things. But it was before I had children.

Somewhere, I have lost myself. I have become so immersed in being a mom/wife/nurse, that I have forgotten how to simply be me.

I’ve been trying to come up with ideas of things that sound interesting that I might like learning about, or doing. And coming up with this list is way harder than it should be. And I’m guessing that making lists shouldn’t qualify as a hobby.

Because really, being bitchy shouldn’t be a full-time hobby. I have been told that on more than one occasion, and by more than one person. So maybe I should work on that. But, that’s not fun. I want fun. Or entertaining. Or challenging.

I feel like a half empty person. I know that is some part of me that is missing. I need to find that part. I need to find me.

I’m finally seeing that by spending time working on myself, I am not short changing my family. I am getting better. Which is a benefit for them. I’m not being selfish. I’m trying to be healthy. I’m just not sure where to start.

I have a ton of patience. I can put up with a lot of crap, and usually keep a smile on my face. I truly think that the vast majority of people are good. And I believe that they have good intentions. A lot of times this turn out in my being naive, and getting hurt or burned, or thoroughly disgusted.

Today, I was disgusted. One man who was trying to use his hospital connections to get special treatment for his mother. And he went about it all wrong.

He had the nerve to tell me that he was going to sue the hospital and everybody that took care of his mother. He dropped his mom off at te hospital yesterday morning and left. Once he pulled away, she fell and broke her arm and gave herself one hell of black eye.

This morning he comes up to me and we have the following conversation:

Asshat: Do you know who my mother is?

Me: Yes. She’s my patient.

Asshat: She’s the mother in law of Dr. So -n-So.

Interesting side note: Dr. So-n-So is actually the doctor who delivered Taylor…..

Me: Oh. That’s nice. I was told you have some questions. How canI help?

I then proceeded to get my ass handed to me about 3 different ways. His mother is too good to have a simple Physician’s Assistant take care of her. She deserves a “real” doctor. He kept telling me that this was going to be ” a nice, big lawsuit”.

I got my manager involved, as well as the doctor and we had a “family meeting”. This patient received excellent care. Every test that should’ve been ordered was. She was medically cleared to be discharged.

He wanted special treatment because his husband is a doctor. Who the hell cares what his spouse does? I don’t. The other doctors don’t. All I know is that I spent over 2 consecutive hours taking care of this. That’s over 2 hours that my other patients, who in all honesty were much more sicker, did not get the proper nursing care they deserved.

Nothing pisses me off more than someone who thinks that just because they know “Mr. XYZ” that they should get special treatment.

Today was just a shitty day. Thanks for listening to my mini-rant.

Last week I let my supervisor and manager know that I was interested in a Clinical Lead position we had on my floor. Basically this is the same thing as being the head nurse, or charge nurse. My supervisor has been somewhat grooming me for this spot over the past few months. I have taken LEAN classes, learned corporate culture and terms, and how to do accurate projects by using A4 and A3 tools. Whoopity doo….thrilling.

I also had to shadow one of the leads for a couple of shifts. And all I saw was a bunch of bitching and whining about staff and patient loads. This was not what I wanted to do. At all.

I don’t want to be behind a desk crunching staffing numbers and then explaining why we can only have 2 staff on nights when we have 3 patients who take a minimum of 3 people to move safely.

However, it was explained to me that once our 2 units separate, the lead will have much more time on the floor to actually help out and provide the back up and leadership that our unit needs.

So, last week Thursday I had my interview. In front of 7 people! I was so nervous I could barely form a coherent sentence. Nevermind provide examples of my leadership, prioritization, and dealing with conflict. But apparently I did better than I thought. Friday morning my manager pulled my into his office and offered me the position.

I officially accepted it yesterday. And a floor wide email was sent out today to let everyone know who the new leads are.

This is going to move my schedule around. Again. For all the bitching I’ve done over the past year and a half about having to work at 3am, I secretly loved being home at night. To always be able to eat dinner with my family. I will now be working 3pm-3am. I’m giving fair warning to expect me to be bitching about this soon!

On the other hand, the raise from the position, plus the shift differential, is going to be pretty nice. And its still only 3 days a week. Plus, this is going to look great on my resume.

I am now about to really enter the world of hospital/health care politics. I will fight for my staff and out patients. I’ve never been quiet about these topics and I’m sure as hell not going to be quiet now!

Hands down, carbs are my favorite food group. I’ve tried to do the the “low carb” and “no carb” thing, and it doesn’t work for me. More specifically, it turns me into a raging bitch. Now, I do believe in moderation, and sometimes I even do that. But when it comes to pasta, potatoes, and bread….mmmm, bread…I am a happy girl.

This past Friday, Taylor and I went out for dinner after we went shopping. She needed a new bathing suit for a party she was going to. She ended up getting a bikini. But that is a whole different post.

We went to Atlanta Bread Company. Its a favorite of ours. Notice how it has “bread” in its name? Apparently some people don’t get that. It means this place serves sandwiches, soups, and salads. Salads that have cheese and croutons.

There were 2 girls that were trying to order who were ahead of us. They had no idea what they doing. And listening to them both amused me and terrified me. They ha no idea that this place had, and I quote, “a shit-ton of carb food on the menu”. Again, bread is in the name!!!

I have no problem with people who are carb counting and all that good stuff. I usually try to eat healthy myself. But I refuse to give up this food group. But, if I was trying to give them up, I sure as hell wouldn’t go some place where carbs were #1 on the menu.

Sometimes I wonder how people get themselves dressed in the morning

I’m back, with a brand new edition…… Sorry, that has been in my head all day and I just had to share!

I didn’t realize that a couple of weeks have passed since I last posted. I have had several mini-posts written in my head. But I didn’t like any of them. It was always the same old crap, but on a different day.

Then, Mother’s Day came. And I was blown away by husband and my kids.

Taylor wrote me a wonderful poem. She talked about how proud she was that I went back to school to become a nurse, how all her friends consider me the “cool mom”, and how much she loves me….even though I sing loudly in the car When I read her words, I honestly cried.

Seth made a card at preschool that said “I love my mommy because….” and each child filled in the blank. Seth said I was pretty. That made my heart melt.

Travis got me outdoor patio furniture. I’ve wanted outdoor furniture for awhile now. I’m loving it! And, he also got me a new stove. This is a stove thta I have been drooling over for the past 5 months. I have no need for a new stove, the one I have now works just fine. But this new one matches the rest of our appliances. It will be delivered Wednesday. I can’t wait to make dinner tomorrow night!!

Since Seth didn’t take a nap and wanted to play outside all day, just Taylor and I went out for an early dinner. She decided she wanted to go to Outback Steakhouse. We had the nicest meal. Not because of the food, but because of our conversation. She really opened up about school, her friends, and her aspirations. I loved it.

Right now, I don’t feel the hands of depression grapsing my neck. I feel happy and content.

I have a job with a company that actually gave out raises this year.

I have 2 fun trips that are planned in June that I am really looking forward to.

Right now, I am happy and full of life. Its a nice place to be.