Girl Scout Dropout

Archive for June, 2010

The not so funny thing about self doubt is that you question everything. And then you question it again. And again.

That’s where I’m at right now. Second guessing every move I’ve made over the last few years.

Questioning my ability at being a good nurse.

Questioning my ability to be a good mom. Or a good wife.

Questioning why I should continue with school.

I think I should be a Wal-Mart cashier. Or maybe a greeter. I could hand out stickers.

I’m sure this is just a mood that I’m in. I’ve had a really difficult week a work. I’ve been on 3 hospice visits and each of those patients have died within 24 hours. Another 2 of my patients were admitted to the hospital. Am I missing something? I used to take pride in my assessment skills. I could spot a PE from a mile away. I could tell when a full blown CHF exacerbation was going to occur. I was your “go to” girl when you needed an IV started.

Now, I have a little black rain cloud of doom following me into every patients’ home.

I’d like to say that tomorrow will be better. Basically because I have the day off. But I doubt it.