I Doubt It
June 29th, 2010 | 
Author: The not so funny thing about self doubt is that you question everything. And then you question it again. And again.
That’s where I’m at right now. Second guessing every move I’ve made over the last few years.
Questioning my ability at being a good nurse.
Questioning my ability to be a good mom. Or a good wife.
Questioning why I should continue with school.
I think I should be a Wal-Mart cashier. Or maybe a greeter. I could hand out stickers.
I’m sure this is just a mood that I’m in. I’ve had a really difficult week a work. I’ve been on 3 hospice visits and each of those patients have died within 24 hours. Another 2 of my patients were admitted to the hospital. Am I missing something? I used to take pride in my assessment skills. I could spot a PE from a mile away. I could tell when a full blown CHF exacerbation was going to occur. I was your “go to” girl when you needed an IV started.
Now, I have a little black rain cloud of doom following me into every patients’ home.
I’d like to say that tomorrow will be better. Basically because I have the day off. But I doubt it.
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You are a great Mom, Wife and Nurse!
Now pick yourself up, put a smile on your face and get back out there! Some patients are tricky, some patients are going to die no matter what you do, and some patients are going to be a pain in the butt and not tell you all you need to know to make an accurate assessment, cause they don’t want to be a bother.
I hope you have a better week! Hugs!
*HUG*
You’ve been drawn to a difficult profession. It has its painful times and, at the moment, you are going through a humdinger of a bad run.
But…
On the flip side, you bring so much relief, joy, and comfort to all of those you care for. I suspect you don’t know how much you mean to the patients you treat.
I think I’ll email you the rest.
*HUG*
I will forever be blessed by the nurses who were with my Dad before he died. They were such a help to my Mama. Think about these things while you work, you are important to everyone you meet! Don’t forget that!!
Dude you are a great Mom. I’ve had too many conversations with Taylor to believe otherwise.
You’ll get out of this funk and your awesomeness will come back. Yup.
You will be a great nurse & it’s just bad luck.
Hmmm. It’s been my experience that people (particularly in the medical field) who question their ability every so often are the ones who are actually VERY abled and reliable. It’s the ones who are so arrogant that they won’t even entertain thoughts of their own weakness that I find worrisome. So, yeah, I think you’re going to be alright.